I Brought It On Myself

I find it funny sometimes that I think the holiday months are less busy than the summer months. Maybe they are, but this year, it just doesn't feel like it...might have something to do with all the planning going into our 20th Wedding Anniversary Celebration!!!! It just doesn't seem possible that I've been married nearly 20 years. I certainly don't feel old enough to have been married for 20 years - at least, most days I don't feel old enough - other days, well...

After more than 7 years of various stages of orthodontic treatment, Ben finally got his braces off this week!


Of course he's wearing retainers full time now, so technically, I don't guess he's done with his orthodontic treatment, but his teeth sure do look nice.


He got his braces off on Tuesday, and we went back on Wednesday for a quick appointment to pick up his retainers. Mark was already at work, so I had to take all the little ones with me. We only live 5 minutes from the ortho office, and I knew we'd only be there about 5 minutes, and then another 5 minutes home...the trip should have taken 15 minutes, right? Who needs a diaper bag for a 15 minute trip? Especially since I had just put fresh diapers on both babies before walking out the door - right before conscientiously looking at the diaper bag and conscientiously deciding not to grab it.

You know where this is going, don't you?

What can I say? Sometimes you've just got to own it. I brought this one on myself.

Sometime after loading up in the van but before completing the 5 minute drive to the office, Sol, God bless his soul, unloaded. And thanks to his position of restraint in his car seat, the only place for it all to go was out. It was so "out" and so odoriferous, there was no way I could've gotten by - for even 5 minutes - pretending I didn't notice that awful smell (or awful ooze) emanating from the beautiful bouncing boy I was carrying (at arm's length), but because I had purposefully left my diaper bag at home, I had nothing except one 4T sized pull-up. (Sidenote: Yes, after 14 years of experience, I have learned to keep a small emergency stash in the van, but I apparently haven't learned that that emergency stash is abolutely useless unless you keep it fully stocked.)

Lucky for him, Ben had somewhere to be (as in the orthodontist's chair), so the little ones and I hit the bathroom. I won't describe in full detail the events that took place in that bathroom that morning, but I will tell you that 1) no amount of toilet paper will ever come close to replacing the effectiveness of even one single wet wipe (in fact, it is actually counter-productive at that stage), 2) I now truly dislike the sensored paper towel dispenser that meters out very frugal single-use paper towels one at a time with a 10-second reset between each dispension (is that even a word?), and 3) that poor bathroom will never be the same (and I really do feel bad about that, but what's a girl to do?)

Anyway, after all was said and done, Sarah was wearing the 4T pull-up, Sol was wearing her (gently used) diaper and I was wearing eau de Sol. (Did I mention that the bathroom had no changing table?)

Or that I still had to go up to the orthodontist's office to get the "parent talk" about Ben's retainers?

Or that it was like 30-something degrees outside that day?

I can only imagine what people were thinking as I carried around my 1 year old baby wearing nothing but a diaper while my other little hooligans were circling my feet. And to be fair, I did get a few questions, but I think my frazzeled expression and the involuntary twitching of my left eye, and oh yeh, the smell, let's not forget the smell, pretty much kept everyone at bay.

Oh well, what can I say? Sometimes you've just got to own it.

The LORD is my strength and my song;
He has become my salvation.
Exodus 15:2